Do you color inside the lines too?
When I was little, coloring was one of my favorite activities. I would lay out my crayons in rainbow order, perfectly aligned on our family farm table so, once inspired, I would be able to easily choose the crayon of my choice. I would feel into the page and carefully select a crayon and begin to color. My strategy was to outline my personal coloring space just inside the printed black line as to set my own coloring boundary so I didn't color outside the lines.
The lines mattered to me.
I took great pride in filling in each and every one of those spaces being ever so careful not to cross over either line but feeling secure that I had a second layer of defense drawn in to prevent any outside-the-line coloring.
Upon completion, I would sit back and admire my art. I would relish in its perfection and bask in the compliments from my family. In class, I would stare at the art wall and notice how everyone chose different colors, used different techniques, and certainly how everyone followed very different inner compasses on how well they stayed inside the lines. Regardless of line adherence, the pride emanating from each and every artist was palpable as they presented their art before hanging it. No one criticized each other for these displays of personal choice and talent - it was revered as a work of art. In fact, those who scribbled beyond the lines were often referred to as "the class geniuses".
I have to admit though, I would often sit at my desk when I would get bored by my teacher and never look at anyone else’s painting but would dissect my own coloring and often criticize myself for the smallest error. I would notice where the blue crept onto the line here or where the yellow blended with the green accidentally.
It felt safer to me to criticize myself before someone else criticized me on this less-than-perfect-in-my-opinion coloring.
And it was already near perfect.
But this is what is at the heart of perfectionism.
As I stated in this week’s podcast releasing tomorrow,
"Perfectionism is an attempt to stay ahead of any sort of judgement. It is an attempt to stay ahead of any sort of criticism. What it ultimately does is chip away at our own self-love and our own self-confidence, thinking that someone else's voice has more power than our own." - Erin Garay
Be sure to subscribe HERE to be alerted when it airs.
We come to believe someone else’s voice is more important than our own so we criticize ourselves first so there is nothing tangible for someone to use to criticize us because we have remedied it before they mentioned it or can quickly respond, "yeah..I know."
This staying-ahead-of-someone-else's-voice thing is exhausting and there will always be someone else with a differing opinion than yours.
When we can breathe in our own knowingness and trust in our own voice, we no longer have to exhaust ourselves trying to stay ahead of the other voices.
We can know that our voice is the right one for us.
And your voice matters.
In creating this shift, you will find yourself whole and complete within you and other voices fall away and no longer make such an impact on you.
You also find that you no longer feel the need to comment on other people's choices either.
It took me a long time to learn the value of my own voice but as soon as I did, it was like a coin flip. I no longer cared what other people said. I knew, spoke and acted from my heart and others' opinions no longer impacted me the same ever again.
There’s going to be a LOT of coloring inside the lines on Tuesday. I’m sure it is no surprise to you that this was one of my favorite parts of voting. Coloring inside the lines with each single vote. My ballots have always been pristine, even when they were poke through ballots...my pokes were clear and beautiful.
Coloring in those circles is like a perfectionist’s dream come true.
Tuesday is voting day. A day where we each individually decide what matters most to us and get to very carefully color inside the lines to mark what we believe in.
But just as your masterpiece was carefully crafted and executed as a child, remember that this voting masterpiece is carefully selected by each and every voter too.
This is their masterpiece.
Everyone makes different choices but it is their voice that matters to them.
We all deserve to be on the art wall without being criticized or judged for our selections. We all have a right to our own masterpieces. The art wall was never divided by abstract artists who ignored the suggestions of the lines or by those who found comfort in remaining within the lines.
All were welcomed on the art wall.
Everything happens in the perfect way at the perfect time. Allowing what is meant to be allows us to welcome in the blessings that are awaiting you. Holding onto your way of being may not allow those infinite blessings to unfold. Challenge yourself to remain open, welcoming and accepting of the results on Wednesday, much like you would the art wall.
When we feel accepted and at home, we can be more willing to accept others and allow what is meant for the greater good to do its work. Join me for this week's meditation, Basking in Acceptance Meditation, and join me in this place that allows you to feel accepting of yourself and accepting of those who make different choices than you.
See you in Meditation today and on my podcast tomorrow!
Much love,
Erin
Video link