My Dad's Tipping Point

I was 24 years old when my Dad died.

I was the first of my friends to lose a parent. I found myself in this teetering cycle between teaching my friends how to support someone in grief and ushering them into an unwelcomed reality that this is what their future would look like. No one wants to think about losing a parent. People would stifle their stories or complaints about their living parents because they didn’t want me to feel sad.

So I not only lost a dad, I also lost the depth and ease of conversation with friendships without my consent. I wanted to hear the stories. I wanted to comfort and advise as I always had. I wanted whatever aspect of life that felt normal to remain. I love being a good friend and that was somehow taken away from me because people thought they were helping by refraining from telling me their stories. People assumed I no longer wanted to hold space for them.

My advice here to anyone who is in this situation or who has friends in this situation. Simply ask. Ask if they’d like to hear your story. Give them the opportunity to say, "Yes, I would love to be your friend and support you" or "No, this is too much right now." Don’t take your friendship away from them because you think you are helping to protect their hearts. They already feel like they’ve lost a significant part of their heart. They don’t want to lose you and your stories too. Besides our hearts heal more through the giving of our love than they do through shutting down.

As you know from my Un-Birthday Love Letter, I turned 48 this year. As such, this week marks the tipping point of time where I will have lived longer (Thank you God) without a father than I will have lived with the living presence of one. It is a moment of mixed emotions as I walk confidently into the other side of this life experience knowing he would be so proud. He always wanted to publish his writings and now I will have my second book coming out this Fall. Through many amazing speakers, books and podcasts, I have learned to parent myself.

Our fathers are so important. They teach us how to be loved in relationship and respected in our careers deep within our subconscious mind. (Mothers do too but in different ways) I believe our true confidence and happiness manifests when we lean in on a Love and a Guidance that is far greater, more expansive and more powerful than any one of our parents would be.

You learn to lean on the sacredness within you where you shift the energy in the room rather than the room shifting you. You are no longer affected by others but rather witness your journey with them and know we all have work to do here. You become your own light rather than waiting for someone else to spark it. As you light your light, others are naturally drawn to it and you can make yourself and your parents proud on whatever side of the tipping point of life you are on.

Want to become the light that shifts the room? Join me for this week's meditation, Change the Vibe of the Room Meditation, and begin to release energy that draws in your best life.

Much love, Erin

https://youtu.be/ugFd98NHq8w