How to heal your relationship struggles with entrainment
It was the first day of junior high school. It was 1986.
I stood at the top of the stairs as the buses unloaded and I spied the one person I knew from sports. She was standing with her group of girlfriends so I did what any 12 year-old-girl would do.
I shouted as loud as I could, “Like Hi, OK?,” just as Jennifer had done the night before on Family Ties as she too was trying to become popular testing out her valley girl talk. And just like the Family Ties theme song, these girls certainly looked like they’d been together for a million years and I was hoping to be a part of them and be with them for a million more.
But why was that my entry?
I believed that if it could work for Jennifer, of course it would work for me. There was plausible televised proof this was a successful strategy.
Believe it or not, it did indeed work and those same women have been friends of mine for over 30 years.
To be honest, I think it was a major gamble and I got lucky.
I am certain that this was not the wisest attempt for integration into the group, especially after the many jokes and toasts that have been made of this moment throughout the years. To this day, even now, I still think to myself why would I have pretended to be something I wasn’t or believe for a moment this introduction was a good idea?
I believed I could be just like Jennifer and I think so many of us do. Maybe not Jennifer and her valley girl attempts but we are all influenced by media, relationships and content. It takes a powerful mind to resist the subliminal messaging that surrounds us.
Whether it’s through television, movies, music, friends or family, we integrate the information that surrounds us. We see success and we follow it and attempt to emulate it- through fashion, through online trends or through simply infusing our vernacular with words that have only rushed past our ears without even noticing.
But it’s more than emulation- it is entrainment.
Entrainment is defined as the synchronization of different rhythmic cycles that interact with each other.
Entrainment is the reason why it’s so important to establish appropriate media consumption and quality of content, regardless of age.
Entrainment is the reason why it’s imperative to be diligent about who the five people closest to you are at any given time. As you reflect back on your life and notice your periods of highs and lows, who were your five closest people at that time?
My bet is that they were a lower vibe crowd than you- angrier or maybe more judgmental. We entrain with those around us and in my lowest life moments, I’ve connected the dots to some pretty low vibe people. Once I felt better about myself and remembered my value, those people and my rough times all fell away.
I imagine the same is true for you.
Entrainment allows us to share and receive emotion and energy with and from others so that we experience the same emotion as those around us- through people, television, movies or online.
Entrainment is the reason why gratitude is so contagious.
So how do we walk around in our life feeling like we aren’t a victim to every grumpy person that walks through our path? How do we become a positive force for ourselves so that others do not alter us and send us on a downward spiral?
We use a powerful and incredibly contagious tool called gratitude.
Entrainment may be the reason we are affected negatively but it is also the reason we are affected, and have the power to affect others, so powerfully and positively.
The prefrontal cortex in our brain manages our empathy, our
personality and our stress regulation.
This is also the same area of the brain that generates our gratitude.
When you begin to feel stress from others or from your own life, you can turn to gratitude to uplift not only your spirit but those of others.
Every emotion has a registered energetic frequency that causes each of our cells to vibrate at that emotion’s respective frequency causing us to have the physical manifestation of that emotion.
When we’re sad, we cry. When we’re embarrassed, we blush.
Despite feeling physically louder and perhaps more intense, the emotion of anger is a much lower energy frequency than gratitude.
By way of you leading with gratitude, you are able to entrain and raise the other person’s anger energy frequency to a higher level and allow yourself to remain immune to their anger. As you begin to practice this, you begin to only attract grateful people into your life.
Like always attracts like.
Just as we are able to uplevel someone out of a state of anger, we are also able to entrain others into a state of gratitude.
Gratitude lifts your mindset out of depression and brings you, and others, into a state of manifesting the life of your dreams.
After 30 days of daily gratitude, your life will never look the same.
Can you be…
-grateful for your senses? There are many who can not see, hear,smell or taste.
-grateful for your laundry? There are many who cannot afford new clothes.
-grateful to have to clean your home? There are many who long to have a home.
When we begin to move the energy in a positive way, more abundant blessings find us.
Entrainment happens. But you can decide who and what you will entrain to by choosing who and what you give your time and attention to every single day.
Gratitude helps us focus. So does worry.
What you choose to focus on grows. Choose the power of gratitude and watch how your life begins to shift for good.
To be clear, this is not about rescuing every lost soul that crosses your path. This is about raising your vibration to bring in the most enjoyable experience into your life by attracting the best behavior from those around you. As you focus on the attributes you appreciate in someone, those attributes present themselves more.
It is a powerful shift in thinking and perspective that will change your world and how you experience it.
Join me for this week's meditation, Healing your relationships and struggles through entrainment, where we will go through the process of healing your relationship or challenging experience through a powerful entrainment gratitude process.
I can't wait to hear how this meditation helped you bring in the relationships and life of your dreams.
Much love,
Erin